Life Wrangling
The mental to-do list has been nagging me. "Write blog post" is blinking red. It's beneath "clean nasty bathroom!!!" but above "back up computer". For months, this domain has been rolling around my thought space. This item on my list has ballooned into a much larger task than was hastily written down.
cocovelocity feels directionless. It sits stagnant for months. Its readership a phantom list of friends and family who likely have gotten used to the settled dust, and have stopped checking for polish.
The smell of foreign air, the sound of unfamiliar accents, languages and even bodily noises mark spikes in writing production. Adventures and events are an easy subject.
But what about those other times? Those times when I am living the life I do have, not the one I imagine myself having in the whirlwind of somewhere new. This space, after all, was meant to force me to write; to spend time crafting sentences worth a damn.
But life now is both challenging and rewarding. And private. There is no humorous detail in my dog dying, or of the complications of relationship. It is all, frankly, not the Interweb's business. Even if this address is like a secret present for those I know.
So what to do here? Travel blog exclusively? Continue with the infrequent posts that are two or three times removed from my heart? They lack grace, feeling and often a decent spell check.
I contemplated politics, but that is a crowded space, and I doubt I craft words better than others trying to hopelessly change the minds of others. Nor am I a preacher. I do not need to tell anyone what they already know.
I've thought of blog retirement. But pictures alone don't tell my stories. Perhaps, I will continue to plod along as is. New adventures are still piled in front of me like Christmases. Story-telling doesn't need a schedule, nor divine inspiration.
Life, after all, is about the journey, which try as I might, does not conform to my schedule, quality standards or even direction. Life is as much the hilarity of the curses my father & I will spew while we wrangle my kitchen walls down in November as it is my anticipated wonderment and fear as I navigate Singapore without a guide.
As I search my heart for who I am as I approach 30, perhaps I can let go of the need to define it publicly, and with great clarity.
cocovelocity feels directionless. It sits stagnant for months. Its readership a phantom list of friends and family who likely have gotten used to the settled dust, and have stopped checking for polish.
The smell of foreign air, the sound of unfamiliar accents, languages and even bodily noises mark spikes in writing production. Adventures and events are an easy subject.
But what about those other times? Those times when I am living the life I do have, not the one I imagine myself having in the whirlwind of somewhere new. This space, after all, was meant to force me to write; to spend time crafting sentences worth a damn.
But life now is both challenging and rewarding. And private. There is no humorous detail in my dog dying, or of the complications of relationship. It is all, frankly, not the Interweb's business. Even if this address is like a secret present for those I know.
So what to do here? Travel blog exclusively? Continue with the infrequent posts that are two or three times removed from my heart? They lack grace, feeling and often a decent spell check.
I contemplated politics, but that is a crowded space, and I doubt I craft words better than others trying to hopelessly change the minds of others. Nor am I a preacher. I do not need to tell anyone what they already know.
I've thought of blog retirement. But pictures alone don't tell my stories. Perhaps, I will continue to plod along as is. New adventures are still piled in front of me like Christmases. Story-telling doesn't need a schedule, nor divine inspiration.
Life, after all, is about the journey, which try as I might, does not conform to my schedule, quality standards or even direction. Life is as much the hilarity of the curses my father & I will spew while we wrangle my kitchen walls down in November as it is my anticipated wonderment and fear as I navigate Singapore without a guide.
As I search my heart for who I am as I approach 30, perhaps I can let go of the need to define it publicly, and with great clarity.
posted by Kristine at
2:41 PM
1 Comments:
i recently reached a point where i wondered why i had my blog too. and i got bored reading the blogs of the people who got me into livejournal. it just seemed like a big whine-fest. i asked Mary B about blog etiquette. she said everyone has their own reasons for writing/reading. if youre not into right now, just take a break. i liked that simple, non-committal answer.... its not like its taking up any tangible space in your life... besides, we have to have a place to post our cooking night recipes!! which im about to do... glad i checked out your blog first. i havent looked at any of your pics for awhile. everything looks fun and beautiful!! love, kate.
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